Unforgettable Place

「忘れない場所」Wasurenai Basho

It’s been years now since my ex-girlfriend dumped me. Now I lived all by myself. The company that I am currently working at transferred me to a different branch. It’s been already a week since I’ve transferred to my new apartment. The place is so peaceful, not to mention the place is located near a clean river.

I took a day-off from my job today, I took the chance to familiarize myself to the area since everything is still unfamiliar to me. After a long and tiring walk from place to place, I decided to take a break near the riverbed.

I suddenly saw a guy standing near the ledge of the river as I looked at him closely realized that he has a sad look on his face. Looking at the river with a blank face. Suddenly, the guy seemed like he's preparing himself to jump off the ledge. In shock, I ran to him and grabbed his hand.

"What are you doing?!” I shouted.

When I touched his hand, it was cold. I overlooked it and when I looked at him he was in a state of shock when he saw me as if he's seen a ghost. He then pulled his hand away as he faced to a different direction as if he's denying to look at me.

“Why did you do that?” I asked him. 

Refusing to look at me while crossing his arms, he silently whispered.

“It’s none of your business..” he said.

It pissed me off when he said that. But, I held my frustration back and talked to him properly with a smile and said..

“Instead of attempting to kill yourself, I think it’s better to focus on the things that you still need to do in life. I don’t know what happened, but you should consider the things that are important to you and most of all the people who care about you.”

“Pfft! What a strange guy..” He laughed.

“Huh?!”

I don’t have any idea what he meant by that, but when I saw him smiling I felt relieved as I smiled. After all that commotion, we sat under a tree as we started a conversation and got to know each-other as time passed by I realized that I have yet to ask his name. 

“By the way, what’s your name?”

“Miyagi.”

“Miyagi.. I’m Shinya, nice to meet you.”

He smiled and looked at the sky. He noticed me looking at him. He smiled at me, I smiled back but it felt awkward when he was staring at me straight in the eye.

“Y’know Shinya-san, you’re a nice person.” he smiled.

“Eh? I’m not. It’s normal for me to help someone in need.”

“…. there's really no need to be humble towards me..”  He whispered.

I didn’t hear what he said. I asked him but he just smiled at me and said...

“It's nothing, just forget about it.”

It was evening by the time I noticed. I asked Miyagi if he wants to eat somewhere offering him that it’s my treat but he refused and apologized to me. I decided to ask him again another day. He smiled at me, but his smile felt so empty. The whole thing felt really awkward when I saw him smiling back at me like that. I ignored it before everything gets more awkward more than it is now. I asked him if he want's to call it a day and if he wants to walk home together with me.

“I think I'll stay here for a little bit longer.” he replied.

“Don’t do anything reckless after I leave alright?.”

“I won’t.” he replied.

“Well then, see you again.” I waved my hand and said goodbye before I left.

Another day has passed and another work filled day started. I kept on looking at the clock near my desk, I have this strange feeling as if I'm looking forward to meet Miyagi again. I finished my work early, packed up my things and left. As I was about to leave the office some of my co-workers seemed noticed me.

“Ah! Shinya-san, want to join us for dinner? Our boss said he'll pay for everything hahaha!”

“I’m sorry, but I have to pass on that offer. I have a very important appointment today.”

“Eh? Don’t tell me you finally have a girlfriend?”

“Huh? Of course not! And what do you mean by that!?”

“Haha! I was just joking. Well, see you tomorrow."

I waved my hand and left.

"I can't believe I refused to join them, I mean FREE FOOD!? What am I saying Miyagi would seriously be creep'ed out if he see's me acting like this."  "It’s just I can’t seem to shake this feeling of wait to see him." 

Different thoughts just kept on pouring inside my head as I walked idly to where me and Miyagi first met.

I saw him by the riverbed again with the same expression when we first met. I slowly approached him and said.

“Don’t tell me…”

“Ah! Shinya-san!” he replied.

He looked so happy the moment he saw me. I waved at him and said.

"You're not thinking of committing suicide again are you?." He smiled at me as if he hasn't seen me for a long time and said.

"No, I was just wondering if you'll be coming" or not". 

Once again this awkward feeling struck me, before I knew it I rushed to him and hugged him firmly in my arms. Miyagi was shocked from what I did, but instead of pushing me away he also responded by hugging me back. I didn't put so much thought into it but I've noticed that his body was oddly cold I ignored it and proceeded on starting conversations with him.

After that I kept on meeting up with him the next day, the day after and the day after that. Before I knew it, it was like a daily routine for me. During my days-off we tend to chat all day long, talking about random things. When I asked him if he wanted to hang out in my apartment, he somewhat always refuses me. Whenever I invite him he just answers back with an empty smile. But still for some reason, seeing him everyday makes me happy.

It's been months ever since I've met Miyagi but recently I've been feeling this weird sensation whenever I'm with him.

"Is ..... is this love? No no no! That can't be right I... I mean it can't be were both dudes right!?"

And I think I fall in-love with him, but I can’t say it to him and he might feel awkward when I say it. I just want to stay beside him.

Today, I promised to meet Miyagi after work but suddenly my boss requested me to do overtime. I couldn't refuse him so I stayed at work until ten o'clock in the evening. After a bunch of work loads. I left my workplace running, just to see Miyagi, suddenly I realized that I didn't have his contact number leaving me without any means to contact him, he might been waiting for me in the river side with that sad look in his face again. 

I reached the usual place where we always meet and saw him making that same sad look on his face when I first met him. I was curious why he always looked sad every time I came to see him. When he saw me he gave me a empty smile. I can't tell why but instead I apologized to him for being late.

“I'm sorry Miyagi. I'm late. my boss had me do overtime“

“It's ok Shinya-san..”

“Don't tell me you where waiting for me since afternoon?”

He didn't respond but instead he looked down and refused to make any eye contact. as I instinctively went closer to him.

“Shinya-san, I have something to tell you.” he said.

His face suddenly had a rather serious expression. I held his hands, it felt cold.

“What is it?" I asked him.

“...Y'know... Will you please stop coming here everyday?”

I was hurt when he said that. I know I was late and I felt that it was all my fault but ... It really hurt me, those words came out of nowhere that I felt that I was about to tear up.

“W-What did you mean by that? “

“I ... I don't want to see you anymore.“

I felt he was about to cry.

“Huh?! What kind of excuse is that? If you're angry that I was late coming here today. I'll apologize but, what you said was seriously unnecessary.“

I didn't realize that I was already gripping Miyagi's hands tightly but it seems he does not feel any pain from it.

I looked at his face, and saw that he was crying.

“Please! J-just stop coming here! I don't want to hurt Shinya-san.“

“I won't accept that until you say a valid reason why! You don't want to hurt me right!? then what's with all that "I don't want to see you anymore" crap huh!?.”

My chest hurts and I was breathing heavily. It's just that I refuse to accept what Miyagi is saying, I'm in-love with him! Yes that's it! I want to see his smile everyday, I want to be with him more, spend time with him more!. 

“Please Miyagi, don't say that. I know that this is not really what you want, right?. “

“But if you keep on coming here it will only hurt you more... It will only hurt both of us if things keep on like this. That's why please, please stop coming here. Forget everything that ever happened, forget about me."

“I can't! So please stop saying that. I love you Miyagi, so please stop saying that! I refuse to accept this!“ My tears started falling from my eyes.

He smiled with an empty face. I didn't care if the whole situation felt awkward when I confessed, but that... That's also the reason why I didn't want to lose him. 

“I...I-love you too Shinya-san. B-But it just wouldn't work the way we want it to be.“ 

He kept on crying, I lifted up his face and looked at him with a smile while wiping his tears.

“What do you mean by that?“ I asked him.

“Shinya-san... The truth is... I'm not in this world anymore, I'm already dead. I died on this place that is why I am not allowed to leave this place. We can never be together... I'm sorry.“

He hugged me tightly. My mind went blank. I didn't want to believe everything he's saying right now, I refuse to believe everything Miyagi is saying right now.

“Y-You're joking right!? This is all a joke right Miyagi!? C-Come on stop saying those crazy things! You, dead!? I'm talking to you right now! I'm holding your hands right now! See?! “ 

Then it suddenly hit me. His temperature is different. In my panic I held Miyagi in my arms and kissed him.

“This... This can't be real right!?" 

Miyagi's lips where cold. Too cold for a regular person.

“Two years ago I committed suicide in this exact same place. The reason? My lover left me. My lover was also a guy. I loved him so much that I couldn't live without him. After he left me, I went into deep depression until the day I commit suicide. I never thought that someone will be able to see me. I regretted everything I wished I could re-do everything especially when I realized that I've already fallen for you. I want to stay beside you but I think I've already overstayed in this world already. “ 

I was speechless, all I could do was hug Miyagi tightly as he hugged me back. Both of us cherishing the moment together.

“Don't leave me Miyagi. I love you!, I love you so much!. “

“I love you too Shinya-san... But I'm sorry. Thank you for all the care and love you gave me, even though it was just for a short while. “

He kissed me and hugged me gently. As I saw his body, slowly vanishing. I tried to hold him as tight as possible as I've kept on calling his name.

“Miyagi! Miyagi! Miyagi!.“ As I screamed relentlessly calling out his name.

“Shinya-san... Thank you for everything. “ 

“Don't leave me please. Miyagi! “

Miyagi vanished without a trace... 

A year has passed after that incident. My contract from the branch that I'm currently working at has ended, it was time for me to head back to the company's main office. I have all my belongings packed and ready. I went to the riverside one last time before I leave. Maybe I was just hoping. Hoping to see Miyagi one last time. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking.

“Miyagi. Until now I could not let myself forget you. You gave me happiness. I know you are happy now, wherever you are. It's been a year since I last met you. I guess I need to say goodbye and move on with my life. It's time for me to go back. This will be the last that I will be able to visit. But I will never forget you, you gave me happiness this place where I met you I will never forget it. I love you Miyagi.“

My tears wouldn't stop. I threw a bouquet of flowers in the river, wiped my tears and left. Suddenly a cold breeze passed by. I turned around and I thought I was dreaming. I saw Miyagi holding the exact same bouquet of flowers that I threw into the river with a smile on his face as he was waving his hand. I scratched my eyes, and when I opened them he vanished. I smiled and left.

“Thank you and I love you Miyagi.“ I utter to myself.